+bitcHy me+

BYES

2005-05-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

FAREWELL TO EVERYONE

__* friends

2005-05-21T00:51:00.000+08:00

him, her, u, she, he. FAILURE, for everything.
im indeed not a GOOD friend.
zhiyan, joyanne, huimin, joelyn, and howchye.
and sometimes, even linwei himself.
i neglected all of them. arghs.

my friend is leaving.
bided good-bye.
how sad can that be.
i cant help.
beyond my control.
i wna be your friend.
i know, we drifted.
no longer, no longer what we used to be.
im not around for umpteen times.
you trusted me, yet, i betrayed.
i betrayed by not understanding you.
thanks for ur understanding.
thanks for knowing, not blaming and giving me time to be with linwei.
sorry for everything.
i know, it might be too late for everything- a change.
however, i just want you to know, how much i appreciate, to be your friend.

i went out in the night. with my same old bunch.
we are cool.we are spastic.we are a bunch of bonkers.
thats how it brought us together.
it had been ages we last went out.
again, we took pictures.
we posed. we enjoyed. we smiled. we laughed.

thanks God.
for giving me friends- great ones.
howchye, sorry.
joyanne, sorry.
zhiyan, sorry.
huimin, sorry.
joelyn, sorry.

anyway, sorry and thanks.
hOped he understand.
my friends need me.
he wouldnt blame.
isnt it?
he is understanding and he knows, they need me.
right?
LINWEI, thanks. =]]

__ * no

2005-05-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

I said NO to what i desired.
aint that silly.
aint that foolish

todays paper was SHiTTy
eerxk.

2005-05-16T18:06:00.000+08:00

__ * another time

2005-05-09T20:00:00.000+08:00

sch was definitely BORING!
some people are weird.
ME, HIm, SHe, YOu.
sighs.
tired over the exams?
take care friendx!=]]

i again, expect something that is IMPOSSIBLE!
horrible me.
im like so dense.
im like a fool.
ran.intend to accompany.
in the end, ended up alone.
i shouldnt be doing this.
i shouldnt be leaving my friends behind.
what happen to me?
search in vain for me.
OLD ME!

Thankx. for sending me home despite exams are round the corner.
Thankx. for coming back specially just to pass me my book.
But, he left without a smile.

Today, i felt as though,he is leaving.
somewhere far away.
FEAR...HOLD ME TIGHT!im afraid to slip past your hands.
Indeed, I AM! ='[

__ * I dont want!

2005-05-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

its MOTHERs day.
alright.
happy MOTHERs day!
at home for the whole day.
dinner at YANs house.
ARGHS!
yan told me she hates mE!
hehx, kindda sad u know. =[[
anyway, ya.
i sincerely want tO go home with u! LIZHIYAN! =P
hrms, perhaps, time will never let me turn back to the past.
but well, I SERIOUSLY want to be with her.
MY cousin, my soul mate.
I LOVE YOU! =]]]]

__ * how

2005-05-07T11:19:00.000+08:00

what will happen after today?
how will things go after today?
im afraid.
be matured.
i wna be one too.

mean, cruel, evil thoughts.
devil.
kind, pure, innocent thoughts.
angel.
everyone tries to be perfect.
however, everyone failed.
no one can be perfect.
the more perfect they want to be, the more imperfect they would be.

need not say you love me.
need not say how much you miss me dearly.
i just need you by my side when im down.
that is all i ask from you.

lets be mature.
i wna be.
guide me to be.
i dont wna have problems in relationships.
kekex. is that being naive?
i just wish larx. =]]
are you a phone call away?

__ * bewildered

2005-05-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

sometimes, without you knowing it.
your words filled with thorns.
pierced through my heart.
wounded-

im bewildered.
what happened?
why are u acting strangely?
alright.
u said that was u, you cant help it even if i dislike.
what are those for?
just a word nevermind.
does it mean,im blaming u.
sighs.
whats wrong.

stop this naive thing inside me!
why do i expects the unexpect and gets disappointed with the expected.
my.anyway,
granny is in hospital
visited her.
sighx.
im afraid of being old.
im afraid of dying.
i dont wna be a lonely old granny.
someone MUST adore me. =P
demands-

__ * alrightx

2005-05-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

EVERYTHING was alright.
the el paper,
my day.

today was a greyish afternoon with a dull sky.
o yea, dull. lightning and thunder was in a fury.

recess, didnt get to see him.
after my noodles, decided to write a note.
hahax.
its stupid. [i know]
but yea, searched in vain just for a pen.
then passed to his friend.

hrmx, went home.
his heart beating real fast and POWERFUL?
kekex.

at times, he is CRUEL.
how could he walk off just like this without even turning back.
but well, in the meantime, when i find him cruel,
he finds himself SILLY.
SILLY? yea.
how much he hoped, i would accompany him.
HE IS MINE.
MY SILLY GUY.

__ * i need u *

2005-05-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

Out of the blue moon,
i need you suddenly.
its the middle of the night.
you left.
on the spur of the moment,
i picked up the phone.
but, i didnt got the courage to call you.
i was afraid, to disturb ur family.
are you asleep? i pondered.
sighs.
el paper. TODAY!
freakx.
i gonna flunk my mid year.
what the HELLX.

__ * i dont wna feel like this

2005-05-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

sometimes,im sicked for something, some people.
i dont wna feel like this. but i cant help.
i wished i had nv feel like this.
but its just a wish that would nv be fulfiled.

somehow, i wna run away.
slip past his hands.
make me feel like before.
i aint falling.
unlike lask time.
SORRY.

sighx. i disappoint charles.
i nv went.
i couldnt.
such a baddy.
not a great friend.

im not in a good mood.

__ * too many*

2005-04-29T22:09:00.000+08:00

grindx-
its tiring seeing books in the night.
im afraid, i cant continue.
i dont wna give up.
i wna work harder.
sighs.
its really tiring.

cant understand why people are so kind.
cant understand why she treats people so nice and yet got abused in return.
whats wrong with those people.
i wna help her.
how to?
unfair treatment!

i dont wna end up be like them.
prayx.
for them.
get back together.

he cant help.
i cant either.
shes given up.
i cant change.
i cant make a difference.
teach me how to.

i cant worship you.
but i can thank you, by believing u do make miracles.
i cant worship you.
im sorry.
but, listen to my pray.
i need you sometimes.
thankx.

__teach me

2005-04-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

teach me how to be nice.
teach me how to be perfect.
teach me how to make you smile.

im feeling shitty.
whats happening?
dreaded-
i need u here.
right now.
i know its selfish.
but i cant help it too.
i shoud be glad that
i have u.
i should be grateful
to have u.

yeahx!
im going to the bejing trip under friend accompaniment.
awwx. aint going to the genting trip with whole family.
grinddx-
im stucked.
but i made my choice.
sorryx.
sighs.
i wna go both!
i wna go with my cousins.
this is shitty!

__* trust *

2005-04-09T11:54:00.000+08:00

camp. 2 more days. awwx.
anyway, we have got the gold for the SYF. =P

i cant seem to make you trust me.
its difficult.
and it can be tiring too.
im not afraid of being tired.
but im afraid you cant bring yourself to trust me.
trust me.
as soon as possible.
i need it.
and i seriously need it.
i want it desprately.
for the trust.
hehx, see how impt that trust mean to me.
see that.

im going out with joyanne on sunday! hahax.
its been quite long i last went out with her.
right?

YEAHS! i like my camp group! JOELYN! YUANLIN! JOSEPHINE! hahax. Delong and daniel toox.
but well, JOYANNE!!!! not in the same group.=(
huimin aint going. guess shes gonna lose alot of funs heh.
well, anyway, thats all.
im just being bored...

__ * hatred *

2005-04-03T18:58:00.000+08:00

watched -Passion of the Christ- this early morning at ard 1 plus. Well. The show was gross. Its all bout Jesus. Yeas.
Hate those people who tortured him. Made him so darn painful.
Felt as though, he was like near me when im watching.
Hurhur. It may seems ridiculous. but well, i could feel him presence.

Woke up at ard 8 plus. Then yea, went to the temple.
Suddenly, just dont feel like taking those joss sticks. But aunt helped me with it and so, had no choice. arghs.

then later on, lunched. then went ChengEn house to pass him the disc.
Met him.
Vow..its gonna be the first and last time.
HOPEFULLY. =P
then was raining cats and dogs. and the wind was howling. the rain was like blowing in 1 direction.
thus, offer to accompany him till the rain stops. Stayed till 6 plus. hehx. he keep commenting. got this name from him lahx. -fei zhu- arghx.
wna slim down yea.
hahax.
anyway, SYF just 2 days away.
will everything be the end of it after that.
ponder with thoughts and worries.

__ * no title *

2005-04-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

camp next week.
bad. friend aint going.
but luckily theres joy lahx.
kekex.
or else, like so darn lonely.

i wna make myself love books.
make me go crazy over them.
then it would be fine.
im slacking.i dontwant.

i saw tears filling in ur eyes.
i felt the pains in u.
u are GREAT!! =]]

mid year coming soon.
fast. 2 - 3 more weeks.
haish.

lets be good child..

__ * sometimes i wish

2005-03-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just wish.
i am dead.
how nice would it be.
how peaceful would it become.

im here to say.
im tired.
im tired of almost everything.
especially the books.

__ * sha gua*

2005-03-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

silly guy.
you are one.

i melt ur heart.
and you melt mine.
i understand, and i dont blame.

SIXUAN! her big name arh.
update lahs. is what she always say.
i dont care. is what she alwyas reply when i say see first.
hahax. right?!
still the CRAZIE girl i know.
=]]
i walked off.
my fault.
i shouldnt do that.
i promise.
i will never leave u alone.

__ * everythings going on fine

2005-03-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

everything is going on fine.
definitely.
for me and him.

got back my results.
satisfied with it except for humanx and english.
grinddx-

sometimes, i wna say.
keep those comments within yourself.
feel that im like giving attitudes to some people sometimes.
dont wna be like this.
stop me from being like this.
arghs!

the feeling i used to have when im with you,
seemed to fade away.
me and him agreed.
we find it hard to talk to you.
NOW.
how could that be?
i admit.
i neglected you.
but, who wouldnt want to be with someone u fond.
rightx.

Im so use to u sending me home.
too use to it that i find it a torment to me if i were to go home alone.
o well, that sounds too exaggerated.
=P

__ * change`fear

2005-02-26T12:24:00.000+08:00

itx afternoon! outx later. wellx, talked to my guy on the phone yesterday night.
grind-
theres a fear inside me.
when wld happen.
hopefully not.
itx all about tiredness.
im like a bad girlfriend.
sighx.

one week past.
another 2 more weeks wld be the holidays.
haix.
time just past in one glance.
so fast, so fast.

hrmx, well, Joyanne isnt as playful as she is in the past.
aWWww.
sadd.
=]]

*i will let u go, when i think theres a need.
*i will not hold you on, when i know itx a waste.
arghx.plead YOU to help me.
listen to MY prays.
I pray to YOU.
if only i were an adult...
i wna marry you.

__ * i love u

2005-02-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

pxx.
love u?
yes i do. =]]
wellx, ive grown older! hahax` i had! lalalax`
some people say i better be mature.
hahax` i will. definately.
but, i just wna be like this for now.
i dont wna grow up.
i wna u pamper me.
kekex`

BIG THANKS TO : FAMILY! LINWEI! JOYANNE! HUIMIN! HOWCHYE! DAWN! HUISHAN! YEOWTING! CHENG EN! POW WUN! LIN XIONG! QI HAN! XIAO CONG! NICHOLAS WONG! GUO HAO! SHERWIN! STANLEY! SIXUAN! AMAS! VINCENT! WEN PING! YAO ZONG! GABRIEL! MCMILLIAN! MATHEW CHONG! DESMOND! NICHOLAS GOH! PEIYU! SIMIN!
and lots more. those who wished mi happy birthday. =]] thankx yea.

__ * freaking old dayes

2005-02-21T17:36:00.000+08:00

whatevrx. the shity week.
crammped. test agn.
seemed to be nv-ending.
howchye my friend again! yeapx.
people definately miss out lotx of my life due to the stop blogginx.

mum away to thailand. awwx.
flu today.
sectionals canceled.
hehx.
how much i wish you turned back.
appear infront of me.
hugged me.
i wan ur care.
alotx.
but, refuse to take it.
sor ryx.
i cant despite this this this much i wanted it.
you melt my frozen soul.
you melt my forzen heart.
thxn.
love u.

shall tell no lies!
im glad.
the craziie one found her guy.
oopx.
kekex.
im ur friend.
for another time.

__ * anothersweetday *

2005-02-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

kekex` its another sweet day! lalalax` o well, school-ing.
lessons were usual.
recess? accompanied him a little.
he walked past my classey!
kekex`
ringx. end of school.
he came to my class.
went canteen, did my a-maths.
o well, went home after that.
he left without his friends just to be with me.
lalalax` xiExiEx`
anyway, walked joelyn to her house.
grinddx-
hahax` was...fun???
cockroaches were like found on the pathways due to the fogging.
was stucked there for quite long can.
hahax` so funny. and definately, sound stupid.

walked to the bus-stop with him and shanz.
wowx` who is fated with who? hahax`
met yeowting and linxiong and the bus-stoppy.
hahax` linwei went home with me first yet, saw them at the bus-stop.
wellx, went home- stayed downstair.
and this and that. hahax`

arghx.
chye, smthing happened to him again.
my god.
how to help him?

pssssxxx...
linwei linwei linwei.
leave you not.

__ * feeling *

2005-01-31T22:21:00.000+08:00

kekex` im backx!
im turning crazy, turning mad!
HELPS!
realised, the feeling of love`
its like, smthing i cant describe`
totally cant.
the feelingx`
i yearn to see you,
i yearn to lean on you,
i yearn to hug you.
all these, all that.
just you and me, is what we wished for.

im falling deeper deeper and even deeper into his hand. his heart.
o my` isnt that a good thing?
grinddx-
i love you.
thats all i wana say to you.
=]]

i will seek for you`
i will hunt for you`
whenever i could,
didnt you realise,
i always searched in vain for your presense.
i just wana know you are near.
that will do.
i looked around me.
just to hunt you down.
didnt you realise that?

wellx, had been like getting late to school these few dayx` wellx, ran. definately. schoolx, these few dayx, more cheerful, more lively. im doing qite well in studies right now. hope it shall still be like this in future.
friendx are sad. friendx are down. what can i do? or rather, what i did?
sighx.
i did nothing.
neglected them.
sighx-

wellx, ensure you, itx not any one-sided love` yeappx. =]]
have got you into my heart.
reallyx`
my heart?
you own a place.
=P
i LOVE u.

awwx` choir sort of bored.
lonely.
without yan, joly, tania, becca.
i know, therex him.
but, no one knowx`
i know, he would accompany me.
but, itx different.
i wan some girlfriendx!
kekex`
im greedy.
a boyfriend is not enough. i need girlfriendx too!
lalalax`

__ * my friendx *

2004-12-24T01:23:00.000+08:00

MY FRIENDX!!!!! HAHAX` IM BORED.

ZHIYAN! JASMINECHONG! RACHELCHAN! CHARLENE! SHIMIN! GRACE! SHARON! DAWN! DIANA! MABEL! ESTHER! MADELINE! GUANLING! JACQUELIN! XINYE! EVON! DICKSON! DARRENGOH! DENZEL! JUNYUAN!

DANIEL! LUOER! QIYING! MICHELLECHEAH! JOSEPHING! SIXUAN! MICHELLETAN! PHYLLIS! YUSHUANG! CHENGLONG! WENCHONG! MIKO! SIMIN! SERENACHEW! ZHENGYI! TEKMENG! JUNXING! LYNN! GWEN! KASEY! JESSICA! JANICE! PEIYU! THENGBOON! ZELIA! YUANLIN! JOELYN! LILING! NICOLE! DEBBIE! RACHEL! BOONTENG! JOYANNE! DAWN! SHEERA! CHOI YEE! DARILYN! HUIMIN! AMAS! DESMOND! NICHOLASGOH! MCMILLIAN! HAOYEE! HOWCHYE! STANLEY! MATHEW! WEIJIE! GABRIEL! VINCENTLIM! JOEL! RAPHAEL! DELONG! HUISHAN! YANGYI! ARTHUR! DESMONDTOH! ZHIXIANG! GARRY! GALVIN! ALSTON! TEEYONG! ZHENYONG! SHEENA! NATALIE! JASPER! LESLIE! GEOKLENG! QIONGYI! CHINGGEE! ALVINNEO! FUNING! SHERMAN! HOCKHENG!

LINWEI! YEOWTING! CHENGEN! LINXIONG! XIAOCONG! EVELYN! JASMINKUM! GUANTING! SHIYING! SERENAGOH! JYESHING! RONALD! SYLVIA! GERALDINE! NICHOLASWONG! QIHAN! ROSSLINA! EDLYN! CLAUDIA! JOCELYN! MARK! JERAMY! TERRY! XAVIER! REBECCA! STEPFANIE! JASON! VINCENTKUA! JOSHUA!

KATRINA! ZILUN! EUNICE! MEIQING! ZHICHEN! CHEEWHA! SHINFATT! YOUKAI! MELISSA! TANIA! JIANLIANG! LIANGSHENG! JOY!

NORIN! JOYCE! FIONA! CINDY! MARCUS! WEIXIAN! AILI! JEAN! BENEDICT! JOHANNES!

heyx guyx, pardon me if i didnt have your names up. wahax` tag on my board so i can add onto it. wahax` anyway, its my third time editing this entry.
people walk in and out of my life. so many to remember. and yea, min still helped me think of some. hahax` i love everyone mentioned` no hatred between us` cz you are my friend. (^O^)